


The Strength to End It All

by NanakiBH



Category: Tales of Xillia
Genre: Bad Ending, M/M, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2015-05-11
Packaged: 2018-03-30 02:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3919891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NanakiBH/pseuds/NanakiBH
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She was the only one who would support the decision that his heart wanted him to make.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Strength to End It All

**Author's Note:**

> I love Muzet... She was so good to Ludger.

That calm, relaxing breeze that everyone always talked about in Marksburg was gone now. Above them, a shining ball of darkness rested in the sky, its eyes both open and closed, watching them, taunting and challenging them to find a way nearer. Just looking at it gave Ludger a bad feeling, but his comrades were somehow able to act like it wasn't there. There was a slight quiet among them, but they didn't act too differently from the way they normally would. Elize and Rowen were chatting, smiles on their faces despite the danger over their heads. Alvin and Leia were spending all their money on items because _whatever_ \- they weren't the ones struggling with money. And Jude and Milla were somewhere. Probably not even in the harbor anymore.

Maybe they had just gotten used to this sort of thing.

Either way, he hated it.

But there was always one person who seemed to appear at these moments when he felt isolated from their group of friends. As he took heavy steps toward the station, she glided up behind him, lightly placing a hand on his shoulder. If it were anyone else, he was afraid he might've pushed them away, and he didn't want them to see that side of him.

He didn't turn around, but he did slow for her, keeping his eyes lowered.

“You're thinking about your brother, aren't you?” she asked.

He was surprised she hadn't assumed he was thinking about Elle like the others would have.

Before he made it any farther, he found a bench and took a seat, feeling safe now that he was away from everyone else, at least. Muzét floated around him and came to a stop before him. She linked her hands in front of herself and waited for him to speak.

“Why don't they care?” he asked. It sounded horribly selfish to even assume what they were thinking, but it seemed so clear to him. “They saw the way he was tossed around by Chronos, but they all acted so... defiant. Like they thought he was all talk. Maybe they don't realize how strong Julius is. For him to get thrown around like that, like he was nothing...”

They had to take Chronos seriously. If they heard him say any of this, he was sure that they would've said that they were, but he could tell that they weren't thinking about it the same way. They had saved the world once, apparently, so this had to seem like no big deal to them. Worse, they might've thought that it was his problem, not theirs. He couldn't have said any of that out loud, which only added to the weight over his heart, but Muzét listened to him with open ears. She was the only one who wouldn't judge him for his terrible thoughts.

“I think I see the problem,” she said, delicately putting her fingers to her chin. “You aren't used to seeing your big brother when he's losing. As a younger sibling, that must be very frightening.”

He gave a small, bitter laugh. The fact that she, of all people, was able to see through him so easily made the backs of his eyes burn with the threat of tears. He was glad that there was someone who so clearly understood the way he felt, but that didn't remove his fear.

“I'm worried about Elle, too. Of course I'm worried about Elle, but... What about Julius? Do you really think he'll be alright on his own? He followed Chronos. I have no idea how long he's been pursuing him like that, either.” His hands tightened into fists in his lap. “If something happens to him...”

“You're a strong guy. You'll do what you have to for him,” she said, “no matter what that means.”

He'd heard about the crazy things Muzét had done for Milla. Those things should've sounded insane to anyone capable of rational thought, but he felt like he could relate to her feelings. She was supposed to be an ally of theirs now, but the others were forever wary in her presence. He had to wonder if they were beginning to feel that way about him, too.

He slowly uncurled his fists and stared into his palms. “I don't know about that. He's always been the one to protect me. Even when it felt like he needed me, it always felt like there was nothing I could do.”

“The way I see it, you have two options.” She'd be the one to know, so he was curious. He watched her as she glided back and forth in the air, pondering. Occasionally, the people around them would stop to stare at this odd woman with wings, but they kept walking when she'd send a threatening glare in their direction from the corners of her eyes. “If it's about protecting Julius, you either need to do as he wants, or do what you feel inside. It might be dangerous, but if it's his wish to protect and guide you until the end, then what can you do? It can be hard to respect someone else's wishes, but...” She stopped for a second, her eyes narrowing, her mouth falling into a worried line. Ludger was dying to know what she thought, so he gestured for her to continue, even if it were something she felt uncomfortable saying.

“I think that what he feels might be the same as what you feel.”

So that was it.

She thought so, too.

“The perfect world... For me and him,” he said quietly, almost to himself. “That was what I always wanted.”

“Is that not how you feel now?” she asked. She must have been wondering about where Elle fell in this. Elle was the card that decided the whole hand.

Remembering the way they ignored his brother, his decision seemed clear. “When the time comes, I'm going to do what I feel. Even if I don't think I'm stronger than him, even if I feel like it's hopeless, I'm going to do everything I can to protect him. That's what brothers are for.”

_That's what I'm for._

For some reason, she looked sad for a moment, but then she smiled and floated nearer to place a hand on his shoulder again. “Whatever decision you make, promise me that you'll defend it, even if it's one the others disagree with. It takes a strong person to make the kinds of decisions you've made, so, no matter what you choose, and no matter what they say, I hope you remember that. You're strong.”

Seeing Muzét's smile was probably going to be the only thing he was going to regret.

 

Later, as he stood in the silence of the harbor with the dark sky above, with his blades covered in blood, he understood why Muzét had quietly told him that she was sorry after he'd finished reading his brother's letter.

It wasn't because she regretted not being able to help him. It wasn't because she knew that they would have to fight each other.

She was sorry because she knew that this was the only choice the others had left him with.


End file.
